Success

The other day, I was reading an article in a magazine about the so called “successful women”. They were awarding them according to their contributions to society. It called my attention that the winners had four characteristics in common: wealthy, thin, married, entrepreneurs. And then, it occurred to me that the magazine people must have had a very narrow group of individuals to pick the winners from. It seemed like the only plausible explanation. Out of all the incredible women out there, who are certainly doing amazing things, only trophy wives, rich, star college graduated, liposuctioned women made the cut. Weird, to say the least. Because success goes way beyond this socially desired veneer. Even if it doesn’t get you to the pages of a posh editorial publication.

Successful women are brave.

So brave indeed, they’ll put on some lycra and go to the gym, fully aware of the fact they’ll never be skinny and that cellulitis won’t leave them if the Queen herself demands it to. They will embrace their bodies, buy a bikini set and wear it in public despite some people in Vogue magazine would say they are insane to do so.

Successful women have friends, not frenemies. That’s because they are generous, candid and kind enough so as to keep them. They are nothing less than exultant when their loved ones thrive. Really, honestly, sincerely happy. Leave competiveness for the Olympics.

Successful women often laugh and make others laugh because having company in laughter makes it more fun. It prevents precocious aging more than your usual Clinique, Vichy or La Roche Posay night cream as well.

Successful women don’t have to pretend their job is more interesting and important than others’, just to impress. They do what they do. It doesn’t matter if it’s not the newest fashionable job.

Successful women don’t have to overwork to feel competent. They understand competence is to excel in whatever it is that you do, and that being a doormat to your boss/company/office is not entailed in it.

Successful women don’t lie about their age. They are not afraid of ageing even if they’re still not married, have children and/or a million dollars in the bank. They don’t need anybody’s pity, nor do they need to show material proof of their happiness to anybody.

Successful women never forget where they come from. Mother, father, siblings, grandparents, the whole lot. These will always define her more than jobs, degrees, lifestyles or brands.

Successful women don’t feel the need to carry a man around town like it’s the new Birkin just because everybody else expects them to be in a relationship in order to be a fulfilled human being and a productive member of society. Sometimes it’s actually more useful to carry a real Birkin. Or a Kate Spade.

Successful women say “I’m sorry”, “Please” and “Thank you”. Because they wouldn’t be successful at all if they didn’t.

Successful women aren’t exasperated to have babies, but instead, some of them long become mothers (and, yes, there is a great difference). Moreover, they aren’t raising their children to be little emperors and empresses; on the contrary, what they seek is to bring up respectful, tolerant and happy people. People who can inhabit this planet’s reality and not the Isle of Neverfrustratedland.

Successful women regret. Sometimes they cry. They take the wrong turn along the way. They change their minds. They apologise. And they know it’s in fact very healthy. It means they feel, they care, they won’t let pride take over and that there’s a great deal of humanity within their hearts. Feeling like a respectable human being in the end of the day is, at times, the utmost evidence of success.

However, if you read some magazine or saw some TV show, film or soap opera which claimed otherwise, that a woman’s success derives from any other items than the ones listed above, I can only say: It’s plain bullshit.